I'm All In

I've been in the restaurant business for fourteen years now, and the general public still amazes (read: appalls) me.

I've seen it all. Yet, somehow, I'm still in the service industry. Maybe it's because every day is different (I've always hated desk jobs). Maybe it's because I literally get paid to talk to people (even though most probably aren't listening) and push buttons (literally)(okay, and sometimes figuratively). Maybe it's because I'm crazy (most likely). Who knows. 

So, I currently work at a card club. I needed a change from the chain restaurant I was with off and on over those past fourteen years. And let me tell you - poker players are a different breed. 

I could go into so much detail it's not even funny. But that would mean this post would be like seventy pages long... and, oh yeah, I want to keep my job. 

The point of this post, you ask? 

I was at our bar chatting with a player last night. A coworker was having a drink, and we started talking about being carded. I'm thirty two, and I still get carded. And I effing love it EVERY TIME. The player chimed in with, "You are NOT thirty two!!" 

Ha. I love getting that reaction. 

She asks me if I've ever been married, and do I have any kids. 

NOPE. 

She says, "That is a good thing. Because you will be married next year. And you will have kids right away."

Pauses... Scrunches face... "A girl." 

The f*ck?!

One, I'm not even sure if I want kids. 

Two, if I do have kids, I for SURE don't want girls. We're bitches. 

Three, WTF?! 

This lady has said no more than four words to me since I started there over a year ago. I wanted to laugh and tell her she's nucking futs... but for some reason I don't think she was just spitting out words. 

I'm all in. 

"How are you still single?"

Oh, this question.

I understand that it is meant to be a compliment, but really? REALLY?! All it does is remind that I *am* single... and the whole point of this post is that being single is not necessarily a bad thing (contrary to the beliefs of most grandmas)(and parents)(and everyone).

I've been single most of my life. Like, WAY more than I've been in relationships - not counting the years until I was allowed to date, obvi. I'm the perpetual "single" friend. The third wheel. The fifth wheel. Whatever wheel I happen to be that day. I've gotten used to it. And I don't say that in a "poor me" kind of way - I really have just grown accustomed to being the single girl.

Do I wish I had a boyfriend (aka someone who worships me and whom {haha you like I used "whom" to make me sound all fancy?!} I hope to spend the rest of my life with and make beautiful babies with so my parents will shut up about giving them grandkids)? Of course. Duh.

But I won't settle.

I've found, over the years, that I'm kind of picky. And it's not about the looks (you'd believe me if you saw some of my exes). It's more of the... you have to catch my attention right off the bat kind of thing - but you have to hold that attention. I've come to realize that this is very similar to how I choose a book.

I tell people that I love to read, and the natural question is, "What do you like to read?" I *never* know how to answer that. I don't have a specific genre. I have a few authors I like (mostly chic lit - don't judge). But the main thing for me is that the first paragraph has to get me. Yes, the first paragraph. I'm a hard sell (I've actually been called that by an employee in a BevMo - hey, I know what I like!).

So, yes. back to men. Or me being the thirteenth wheel. Or whatever we were talking about.

I've had some amazing men in my life...  and some not so amazing. But each and every one of them has taught me something, whether it's good, bad, or funny... And a lot of it has been funny.

I've always joked about writing a book on my love life. For now, blogspot will have to do.

This could get interesting, folks.